Dear you,
Something's about to happen, isn't it? Something big. There is someone else. You have given up on me. Someone else is capable of making you feel better about yourself when you really need it. Someone else is capable of giving you the attention that you don't want from me anymore. It's happening, isn't it? I can feel it. I can just totally fucking feel it, and I wish there was some kind of diversionary tactic I could take, but there's not. There's nothing I can do to stop this.
Well, that's a lie. We all know what I could have done to stop this. But I haven't yet, and who knows when I'll be able to, and you found someone that has, that never even had the problem in the first place, right?
I wish you would tell me if this is happening. I'm not going to bring it up because if I do and you confirm it.. that's the end of us. I mean, really and truly the end. When it happened a couple of years ago, I absolutely refused to believe that our time was over, and it wasn't. But now.. maybe it is. Now.. maybe I shouldn't fight it anymore. Fight for us. Maybe it's time to throw in the towel.
I don't know if I'm right. I could be extraordinarily paranoid - I wouldn't put it past me. But I'm preparing myself for it. I'm preparing myself for the day that we finally and completely end things, the day where we bury whatever it is we had for the past 7 and a half years. It's coming, I can feel it, and I'm trying to get myself together so it won't tear me apart.
This sucks.
-s9-