Boys are dumb. Here is an example:
(story about Internet Boy)
We chat, right? So, I like to start with, "How was your day?" I think it's nice when someone asks that and listens to everything you have to say. I think most people are too full of themselves to pose that question in a serious way. I think it's nice in chat sessions, because it sets the "I'm into you, not a million other things" tone.
He says it's horrible, because he made a terrible realization an hour ago. This realization is that he's not over his ex.
Grr.
No really, grr.
I mean, why would a girl, whom you met through online personals, want to hear about your ex? Why would a girl, whom you haven't been friends with forever, want to hear about your ex? This is not engaging conversation. This is not interesting. This ruins the crush I had in my head.
Nevertheless, I became Listening Molly. (You should meet her, she is the best listener.) I listened and asked questions. I did not offer advice, because I didn't have any. I didn't offer much humor, because I wasn't sure it was right. When the time came for a change of subject, he was done talking. He just wanted to go away. So, I said my good-byes and had a discouraging night.
Because, I really, really, really wanted to ask him how this would affect his future romance life, but I didn't. I was trying to be suave and cool. I wanted to be open and not some annoying, clingy girl. I was going with the flow.
The flow fucking sucks!
Then, today, trying to be Miss Wonderful, I apologized for asking so many questions. (Listening Molly asks a lot of questions so she has the story straight. She does this also to aid the talker in really exploring his feelings. This trick works wonders, but some people misconstrue it.) YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS?
"Ahh...that's ok."
The proper response was, "You don't have to apologize, you were a wonderful listener. Thank you so much for being there for me when I needed it. I mean, you don't even know me, but you were willing to set aside your feelings to listen to me. Thank you so much!"
He didn't say that.
Bastard.
-s1