Dear Dustin,
I don't want to be friends with you anymore.
It's not really your fault. It's just, what we had was so not what I wanted, but I tried to force it. And when it all broke down, so did I. I came crashing down in this magnificent display of depression and confusion and being someone else.
And I still haven't let go.
The thing is, we just should've been hang out buddies. And as lame as it sounds, we can't go back. I can't forget. I never could. It's just not the way I am.
And I want to just be without you.
There are new people. For the first time in my life, I'm feeling like I'm making good friend choices. At the same time, I'm all fucked up inside from people of the past. I can't seem to get my head and heart straight. And I want it to be all nice and organized and shiny and pretty for the new people. These people are so good for me.
I just can't get it together when I think of you.
So I'm gonna get the rats, and I'm gonna pay you back, and I'm gonna take you out to dinner, and then I'm gonna stop making any sort of effort. Maybe an invitation here and there.
I think we're too different, no matter what you say. And I think you should just hang with your other friends and let me go.
And so I'm letting go. It's time.
-s1