I don't technically know this guy, but I listen to him on the radio every day and yeah. I want him. Bad.
What is it about females that make us want guys that we have absolutely no chance with? Not only is he 11 years older than me, but he has a beautiful wife and baby daughter and all that kind of stuff. Not to mention that I'm me and he's him. That's the low self esteem talking, I guess.
But I do this every year. Every year I go see him in person and every year I renew this crazy obsession with him. I'm waiting for this to pass, but it hasn't yet. I'm still looking at his website obsessively, still looking at his blog 100 times a day to see if he updated it with the words that I am so addicted to.
What is it about him? He's not like.. fantastically attractive. I've always thought he was cute. He's a little unkempt, really, but I've always found that irresistable, I guess. He is incredibly, incredibly intelligent and passionate about the things he likes. His blog is so strange yet extremely informative. His wit is totally genius. He makes me laugh, and not just in a giggly way. He makes me laugh my big ass off. And this weekend I witnessed him for the first time with his little daughter, and I know he's the kind of father that I eventually want to marry and have kids with myself. He's an amazing musician. He's just multi-talented, I guess. And I dig that.
We shared a moment this weekend, but I'm sure that's the only moment we'll ever share because there's really no reason for him to want to talk to me again. I'm just too shy and too respectful of his privacy to take it further, to push and to try to make friends with him, and it's just not going to happen. Why do I do that? Why am I so completely obsessed with this person and why can't I just get over it? I'm sure I will eventually, probably in the next couple of days, really. But for now, it's so extremely frustrating to want this ideal man, this comedic genius, this person that I just totally crave.
*sigh*
S-9, who has never actually written here before but feels a little better now that she did.