I don't understand you.
I've know you how long? I think 8 years, now. Granted, it's been off and on, but it's been on for more than two years now. How can you be so confusing after all this time?
You meet someone new, and you call that person your best friend almost immediately. And you're in this whirlwind frienship, and where am I? I'm left behind.
Going on three weeks, and you haven't returned my calls.
The thing is, you are my best friend. I don't give that title out to just anyone. I don't like most people, and I don't share with most people, and I don't want to spend time with most people, and I don't care about most people. But I do feel and have all these things for you.
And still, you're always too busy or upset or sick or running off to somewhere else, and I'm left pissed off.
I hate being pissed off at you.
I'd like to think I don't want much from you. I'd like to think that spending a few hours together once a week isn't too much to ask. I'd like you to be home every so often when I IM you. I'd like to go back to delivering pizzas with you.
But I guess all of this is too much for you.
When I'm with you, I feel like I'm just a space to fill in between what really matters. When I'm not with you, I feel forgotten.
Part of me wants to yell at you and call you all sorts of names. The rest of me knows that will never work.
That part of me is still trying to figure out what will work.